When shame is stronger than relief

He wrote that it did work. That the Squease pressure vest gave him peace of mind, that it reduced the stress in his body. But he still sent it back. Not because it didn’t help, on the contrary, but because shame won out over relaxation.

And that touches me. Because how painful is it that someone finds something that helps them function better, but doesn’t dare to use it because they are afraid of being seen? Have you ever had that feeling, knowing exactly what you needed, but a little voice whispering: “What will others think?”

That shame is recognizable. Our society is used to “just doing,” to not standing out. But stimulus processing doesn’t work according to social rules. If your nervous system lets in too many stimuli, your whole body is constantly on. That overstimulation is exhausting. And for some people, deep pressure is exactly the signal the body needs to understand: you are safe, you can rest. It is the same mechanism that makes firm hugs calming or that helps children or adults with autism sleep better when their bodies experience more boundaries in the form of a weighted blanket.

The Squease pressure vest does exactly that: it provides deep pressure in an unobtrusive, gentle way. You pump it up, disconnect the pump, and it stays in place. You wear the vest under your sweater. That’s the beauty of it; you don’t have to explain what it does, unless you want to.

So what if we turn shame on its head? What if it’s not about “do I dare wear this?” but about “do I allow myself to rest? Do I allow my body to feel safe?”

Perhaps this isn’t a story about a returned cardigan, but about how brave it is to take yourself seriously. Even if that’s visible.